Monday, August 4, 2008

Trying

I've been thinking about this for awhile but haven't posted about it because I was kind of scared of the response I would get. But it's built up in me to the point where I have to share. Lately, I've been trying to be...well, a man. That sounds like its a god given right but it really is something that a young man has to learn how to be. I think part of the reason I've had the urge is I'm just burnt out with being a kid. I'm tired of wasting money. I'm tired of being unsure and afraid of a variety of things. I'm getting old. I know I'm far from grandchildren, wheelchairs and pointless surgeries but 23 is old enough where a person has to start growing up. Part of me feels like I can't really be a man till I find a REAL job and start making some real money (which is part of the reason I've been looking so hard for a job). But its other things too. I want to do the right things for my family and my friends. I want to be an example to them. I want people to respect me for who I am. I want to be the guy that people come to for help or advice. I want to be like my brother, or brother-in-law, but most of all, like my father. To my recollection, there is no better example of how a man should live his life. This doesn't mean I'm going to become some lame shut-in who only worries about money and never has fun. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop playing music or video games. But I want to be better. I'm trying to be better. I know I'm a ways off...but I'm trying.

4 comments:

gilbert girl said...

I'm proud of you...you're right, it's not a god-given right and there are way too many who never decide to grow up and be men (or just grow up). I'm glad you did and I've been praying that you will find the job that's right for you and your family soon. Love you.

Amber said...

Al I think that is an amazing thing that you are trying to do, and even more amazing that you actually realize it is something you CHOOSE to do not something that just happens on its own really. My girlfriends and I have had several discussions about the three different types of males, boys (males that are still acting like teenagers), guys (males that are mostly still teenager like but that are trying to be men), and men (males that have worked hard to earn and retain this title) - unfortunately there are very very very few of the last category, and I can actually honestly say I have never dated the last kind yet, that's how rare they are. So good for you for trying to work on this, I think that you are already on your way, you're already someone I know I can count on and who sets a good example for me and I love you brother :)

Nene said...

I think it's great that you have come to this conclusion on your own. It shows your maturity and the fact that you ARE becoming a man. I agree with gilbert girl and amber in that a lot of men never come to this point. I too have been praying that you will find the job that is right for you. I also think your are more qualified than even you realize, so don't hesitate to accept a job you don't think you are qualified for - maybe it is the Lord's hand in guiding you toward your destined career.

Native Minnow said...

Growing up is for sissies.

;-)