Monday, August 4, 2008
I've been thinking about this for awhile but haven't posted about it because I was kind of scared of the response I would get. But it's built up in me to the point where I have to share. Lately, I've been trying to be...well, a man. That sounds like its a god given right but it really is something that a young man has to learn how to be. I think part of the reason I've had the urge is I'm just burnt out with being a kid. I'm tired of wasting money. I'm tired of being unsure and afraid of a variety of things. I'm getting old. I know I'm far from grandchildren, wheelchairs and pointless surgeries but 23 is old enough where a person has to start growing up. Part of me feels like I can't really be a man till I find a REAL job and start making some real money (which is part of the reason I've been looking so hard for a job). But its other things too. I want to do the right things for my family and my friends. I want to be an example to them. I want people to respect me for who I am. I want to be the guy that people come to for help or advice. I want to be like my brother, or brother-in-law, but most of all, like my father. To my recollection, there is no better example of how a man should live his life. This doesn't mean I'm going to become some lame shut-in who only worries about money and never has fun. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop playing music or video games. But I want to be better. I'm trying to be better. I know I'm a ways off...but I'm trying.