Wednesday, June 10, 2009
The Elephant In The Room
I've been out of work for quite awhile now. I don't like talking about it mostly because I feel so ashamed of myself and I like to give people the impression that I'm fine. To be honest, I AM fine. But I really do wish that I had a job. I really do like working. There is something that is really unconscious about work, a feeling that you're being useful and contributing that you never notice until it's gone. I've recently been trying to break into a writing career, writing for local newspapers and magazines around Albuquerque but nothing has really happened even though I emailed all of them that I could find. I did get the okay to do freelance work for the Alibi but when I emailed the editors about any assignments they had, they said they didn't have any and that they almost never use freelancers, which is not good for me. I've emailed so many freakin' people about jobs I just want to scream. I keep thinking of giving Accounting Principals another call, which is my temp agency, and telling them I'll do anything they want but it feels like I'd be giving up and raising the white flag if I did that. When I was doing all of those crappy jobs for them, there was not a single day that went by where I didn't feel like I was wasting my time and abilities and that I really needed to leave and find something better. But, I just don't know what to do anymore. I really want to get a career in line so that Stacy and I can start a family and I could support us all. I've fasted and prayed and so has my wife, and many other family and friends. I feel grateful that I've had so much support but I'm sad that I haven't helped that support come to fruition. Anyway, I just thought I should update everybody on what's going on and thank you for all your support.